Men who harass me: Sally's partial collection

Men who harass me: Sally's partial collection

A strong woman + a lifetime of harassment = a powerful Hollaback.

I'm so glad this site exists, so people can share there experiences and realise they're not the only ones - well done guys!!! I've had many unfortunately, but I will just mention a few. My city has no official blog yet.

As a introverted and shy teenager, I was carrying 2 heavy bags of shopping (and looking pretty rough, old jean and sweatshirt) in, A circle of at least 10 drunk guys surrounded me, blocking me and not letting me walk off. They were wearing novelty costumes (a stag night, maybe). I felt so intimidated that a froze. The "ring leader" came forward, and said, "we won't let you go until you give us all a kiss". I was still frozen. He started to move his face closer to mine, it was so disgusting. I squeaked, "I have a boyfriend" (I didn't) and pushed past them. And they were all laughing, I felt so humiliated and sick for the rest of the evening.

Not too long after that, another woman I didn't know and I were walking down a narrow street with scaffolding in the pouring rain and wolf whistles started from the builders. We both turned around and one went "No, not you, you train wreck" I don't know which of us the attention was aimed at, but again this made my day just a little worse.

Another time drunk guy in club maneuvered me into a corner and wouldn't let me go until I gave him my (fake) number.

To top this off, I went abroad to a certain foreign country (religiously conservative and by some standards 3rd world) for study reasons, where street harassment is the norm. In fact sexual responsibility and "sin" falls almost entirely on the women's side. Women are belittled, some are not allowed out on their own, and stared at constantly even if they are dressed extremely modestly (as I was). Some women particularly of minority ethnic origins, have stones thrown at them (I think since I was taller than most of the men, they didn't dare with me). Also if a man is staring at you, they won't stop staring even if you make eye contact - they think they have the right. They would talk to me, even though it is meant to be unacceptable to talk to women they do not know.

Yes, I was aware of this behavior before I went, I am aware it is a different culture and values and I am a guest in their country etc etc but it still made me feel sick and it doesn't make it right - I talked to many women who lived there and they all hated the harassment too, but they felt powerless about it. I felt under siege. Another sent flowers to my school and tried to negotiate with the school principal to marry me. Urghh. At a tourist festival, all the local men were photographing US, western women, more than we were photographing the festival itself. The one time that was almost funny was when I was visiting a local landmark and a rich looking man started filming us even though he was with his family! Then his wife saw and smacked him hard across the head and a torrent of verbal abuse was aimed at him by the women. Hah! That showed him!

It got more serious though. There was one incident where I felt my life was genuinely threatened, when I was stranded due to circumstances beyond my control. A man I didn't know (whose unwanted attentions and sexual threats I had rejected) accelerated his taxi at me, almost running me down while I was alone on a dark night and deliberately intimidating me, then drove off in the night. In that moment my brain flashed to the attacks that's had happened in South Africa, where a gang ran women down with cars to disable and rape them. I was so scared and numb. I stood for 10 minutes in the dark in the pouring rain, waiting to get in through the gate to my house (gatekeeper was in the toilet), all the time thinking he was coming back. The feral (and sometimes rabid) dogs prowling about added a nice atmospheric touch.

After 2 months of this, the effect on me, in addition to my other experiences, was profound. I'm sorry if this sounds cliche but I would be lying if I said I didn't feel tears pricking at my eyes as I typed the previous paragraph. Since I've returned home I'm very sensitive to street harassment.

When I go out, I tend to wear hoodies and jeans, and don't call attention to myself. I walk tall and confident and with purpose, but I don't feel that way, even though I'm 5'7 and reasonably attractive. I keep my face blank, carry keys or perfume in my pockets (for defence if needs be) and my phone in other. I tend to be hyper-vigilant and I get really angry, mostly inside, at street harassment, particularly by drunks. My body language becomes very defensive even if a man is being respectful and friendly in showing interest in me, I blank them and turn my head away.

Even now in my mid twenties I feel vulnerable going out alone wearing skirts and dresses (although I will with a group of friends, rarely, in house parties or places I feel safe), even though I love girly dresses, especially retro ones. I want to go out and feel beautiful within myself and respected, and you know what, one day I want to meet the right guy, get married and be happy - but if keep acting this way I worry I'll never get that close to a guy again. Its sad but I think I have had more negative contact from guys in my life than positive.

Things are getting a little better now, I feel happier and more confident than I have in years although the emotional distance is still there. I have travelled alone to many countries, made new friends, skydived, climbed mountains. If you met me in a social situation you would probably never guess any of it - I would come across a pretty, friendly girl, not a wallflower.

But I have to say this - Guys, please be considerate. Try not to be obnoxious assholes who stare and and yell and grope. I'm a nice, funny, person and although I try to be strong, I have a thin skin and these things still hurt me. And it has been these little incidents, the harassment which guys don't even seem to think about, and which still happen to me occasionally, which make it worse.

Submitted by A.

We're hiring and we're shaking it up!

As you know by now, HollabackNYC was developed in 2005 by a group of young adults. In 2010, I became executive director of Hollaback! and the project transformed from a series of local blogs into an international organization. Now, the Hollaback! is looking to hand the management of the NYC website to a group of ten 18-22 young women and LGBTQ individuals who are representative of New York City’s diversity in terms of race, socio-economic perspective, and educational background. The youth will receive six months of training, which will include everything from social media, to comment moderation, to event planning. At the end of the training, the youth will be integrated into Hollaback’s network and will be handed HollabackNYC to manage on their own.

We couldn't be more excited about this transition. Please help us out by spreading the word about the HollabackNYC Program Director position (or applying yourself!).

Why I Hollaback: Emily's story

Scary, scary 2 train turd

I was sitting on the 2 train at approximately 8:45 pm tonight. This man very purposefully stood above me, though it wasn't a crowded train at all. He had his hand in his pocket, and was clearly touching himself while staring at me. He was holding honda 3-d glasses. I don't know why. I took this picture of his face and said "excuse me pervert" and got up and off the train. I am still nearly hyperventilating. Please post this. I don't want anyone else to feel this way.

Submitted by Annie

Death Stare

This creepy little fuckface in the blue dress shirt was eyeing up every woman who either looked younger than 40 or was wearing anything that showed the vaguest sliver of skin. He seemed to particularly have a leg fetish- like a cutting up legs fetish, seriously, his gaze was so eerily intent. He's looking over there because there were three teenage girls whose conversation he was actively eavesdropping on. I wanted to scream out, "ASSHOLE WE CAN SEE YOUR WEDDING RING AND WE'RE NOT INTERESTED ANYWAY." FFS.

Submitted by Lucy

Marilyn Monroe I am not

Got another one for you: Yesterday evening I was running some errands on Broadway in SoHo, dressed in a flowy skirt and my running sneakers, when out of nowhere a storm suddenly moved in and a strong wind started blowing. I moved quickly toward the nearest subway entrance to escape the storm, but as the wind blew harder and harder, I struggled with both hands to hold my skirt down while still attempting to walk and carry my bags. Marilyn Monroe I am not, and I had already been having a really terrible day, so having to deal with sudden wind gusts possibly exposing my underwear to the world was bringing me very close to the end of my rope. It was just then, of course, that a disgusting man who looked to be in his late 50s (older than my father!) turned around and started stalking behind me, shouting, "Blow wind, blow!" and, "Show me some of that ass!" along with other obscenities. Humiliated, creeped out, angry, and on the verge of tears, I found myself wishing so hard that I had a third hand available so that I could punch the perv right in the face. Alas, had to weather his harassment all the way down the block, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. I still feel gross thinking about it.

Submitted by Carey

"This is the third time someone has reported this about him." WTF?

Earlier this afternoon, I was working on my laptop at the Steven A. Schwarzman branch of the New York Public Library, when I noticed a man, seated one desk away across from me, staring at me. I tried to ignore it at first, but he kept staring even when I stared right back at him to let him know I was aware of what he was doing. I noticed he had one hand on the desk and the other one under the desk, and suspected he was up to mischief. However, since I couldn't really see, I did not say anything. I did not want to change seats because I already switched seats earlier (another story). Besides, I did not want to be intimidated into moving. At some point, the guy got up from his seat and shifted some chairs around so that my line of vision to his legs were blocked. Moments later, he got up and moved the chairs around again to clear my line of vision and I knew something was up (no pun intended). A few minutes later, he was back in his chair, staring at me and masturbating.

I took out my iPhone to photograph him and he quickly shielded his face with his hand. He then got up to leave and all I got was a picture of him walking away, his face turned to the side. I followed him, knowing he would encounter a security check point. He walked through--the security guard seemed to recognize him and they exchanged goodbyes. I told the security guard what happened, who shook his head and said, "This is the third time someone has reported this about him." WTF? I looked at him incredulously and asked why nothing was being done, why he didn't go after the guy. He said he could not leave his station and shrugged. I insisted that he contacted some one through his radio--the man would have to go through another security checkpoint--which he finally did, but by that time, the guy--as I later learned--had already left the building.

I got my things and was escorted to the library's security office to report the incident. Two men in suits came to speak to me. As I was explaining what happened, one of them began to defend the guard for not leaving his station and said that the perpetrator had likely left the building. Meanwhile, the other suit whisked away my phone to another office without asking me. I insisted on knowing what was going on and followed the man who took my phone; he had plugged it into his computer at his desk. I politely reminded him that he had not asked for my permission and he returned my phone without, I think, downloading any files. It was not that I did not want to share the photo but that no one was telling me what was going on. One of them instructs a guard to begin filing a report. "For sexual harassment?" the guard asks. "No, for public lewdness."

The suits then asked if I wanted to talk to the police and press charges, and since I felt like I wasn't sure what the library was going to do about the incident, I said yes. While waiting, one of the suits asks me to look at surveillance images of a library exit to identify the man (again, it was his profile image) and "as best as I could tell," it was him. 35 minutes later, the police came. After hearing my story, they explained that there was nothing they could do; even if they had caught him, no charges could be pressed since he had not "indecently exposed" himself. In the presence of the police officers, one of the suits told me that he had seen the perp around before, recognized him and will "ban" him from the library the next time he comes by. One of the police officers then walked me to a subway stop and advised me on how to respond should I ever see the man at the library again.

Years ago as a teenager, I had been harassed and was paralyzed with shock, fear and self-doubt, unable to respond. I'm glad that I had the presence of mind to react this time and not be intimidated, but oh, I am so angry with that guy for being so demeaning and for stealing my precious writing time. What upsets me more is that I had to insist before the security staff took any action and, worse, the security staff seem to have had previous reports about this man but never ever followed up because who knows why. Is it really too much to ask to be taken seriously when reporting an incident of sexual harassment?

Submitted by Fiona

I want to "train you"????

I went for a run this morning. I was walking to the park when two men in a van start yelling at me out their window. They were stopped at a light. They were yelling about my ass and how much they liked it. They were also saying something about how they wanted to "train me". I have no idea what they meant but whatever it was, it was disgusting. They were really hollering and honking at me for quite a while, and I turned to look at them twice. When I did, they just cheered and yelled more. It was awful. I wanted to yell at them but was far too upset and felt powerless. I mean, I've been catcalled before- but they couldn't even have defended these comments as compliments. They were just plain crude and perverse. I want to "train you"???? I am not a dog or your slave. I am a woman who deserves respect just like every other human being and animal on this planet. They thought they could yell at me because they were in a large moving vehicle and there were two of them. I wish I'd looked to see if it was a company vehicle, but I was way too upset.

Anyway, I felt like I wanted to cry, but I just kept walking on. I pass this fellow planting a tree outside an apartment building. He says, "Good morning pretty girl". So immediately I turn around and start telling him off. He turned out to be actually an okay guy. So I ended up apologizing for snapping at him, but still told him to reconsider his catcalling ways. I told him that women don't appreciate it, no matter how much of a compliment it is, and that he should think about what it's like to be a woman, namely: scary and disempowered. To drive the point home I told him what the ASSHOLES said about "training me", which made me immediately burst out crying. So then I ran off crying.

Great. Just how I want to spend one of my only mornings off from work.

Thank you Hollaback for being such an incredible organization.

Submitted by Eve

Video of harassers in Kensington, Brooklyn

Guy street harassing me from Sarah Liz on Vimeo.

This creep and his friends have been bugging me for years. Calling the cops every time it happened worked briefly. I thought videotaping it would deter them, but clearly it didn't.

Submitted by Sarah Liz

Men who harass me: Sally's partial collection

Sometimes, no where is safe: One man's story of street harasssment

Although our site focuses on women and LGBTQ folks experiences of street harassment, the reverberations of street harassment impact us all. Hollaback! was co-founded by three men (and four women) and over the years we have seen some tremendous contributions to the movement on behalf of men. This is one of them.

My name is Tom; I am 30 and a Staff Sergeant in the U.S. Air Force. I grew up in Phoenix and have been stationed in Texas, Utah, and New Mexico. I have had a few uncomfortable confirmations with strangers over the years, but nothing like what you see on this site, until…

My boss and I went to a conference in Reston VA, a small suburb of Washington D.C. The conference lasted only two days, so we had one night to see the town and enjoy ourselves. The only thing to see in Reston is the Town Center; a nice, but small, outdoor shopping/commercial district.

After dinner and a little shopping, I recommended that we find a grocery store so we could buy a few snacks and some bottled water. We walked about 1 mile north of the Town Center to the nearest Harris Teeter’s. On the way we took some shortcuts through bushes and side streets. My boss said that she was worried because there was no one around and it was late at night in strange city.

I told her that of all the places I had been, sober or drunk, I had never felt safer. We did our shopping at the grocery store. It was one of the nicest grocery stores I have been to, by south Texas standards, and I felt completely safe waiting out front for the hotel shuttle.

Everyone we had seen up until this point had been well dressed and friendly. While we were waiting in front of the grocery store, a man between 25 and 35, wearing dirty clothes and a two day old bread walked by us and said “hey beautiful!” to my boss.

While she is one of the nicest and open people I have ever met, she is very uncomfortable around strangers. I could feel her awkwardness. We said nothing. As he continued to walk towards the store entrance he said “What, too good to talk to me?”

At this point I was a little shaken, but the incident seemed to be over, so we continued to wait for the hotel shuttle. About 15 minutes later he came back out of the grocery store with a 12 pack of beer in a bag.

I am 6’ 3” and 260 lbs, people rarely mess with me; but I hate confrontation, and I am terrified of strangers. When I saw him coming towards us I was afraid he would say something else. As he started walking by us he turned towards my boss and said “Hi, I’m Bill” and held out his hand towards my boss. She looked away and I said “We don’t want any trouble, please keep walking”. He said “I just want to say hi, who are you, her boyfriend?” He was not being friendly. I did not know what to do.

I felt that, as the man, I had to defend my boss. I know that sounds sexist, and until that moment I had never thought that way. I knew she was as scared as I was and I felt a sudden need to protect her.

Directly to our right was a large pet shop. I said: “look we’ll just go in here and wait until our bus comes” pointing towards the pet shop. As we started to get our bags together to walk inside, he backed off and just walked away.

I have told this story many times, and it always gets a lot of laughs because just minutes after I say “this is the safest place I have been, nothing will happen to us” we have a confrontation.

This was 2 years ago, and I have always felt ashamed that I did not stand up enough for myself and my boss. I feel that I backed down when I should have been in his face, and threatened to kick his ass. I am much bigger than he was and could have easily taken him, but that is just not who I am. In the end, nothing happened and I should be proud, but still I am ashamed because I let him make me feel fear.

Submitted by Tom

Is Street Harassment Worse in France? Part III

This is written by Anna, who plans to start a Hollaback in France!

I'm very sorry for what happened to Sabriya. I'm a French woman who has lived one year in New York City. I don't live in Paris, but I have to say that I've felt much more relax and safe during my staying in NYC that I had in my hometown. Maybe NYC is such a huge city that everyone is more or less anonymous: no one really cares about how the others are dressed, or how they behave. You don't have time to look at a stranger who looks unusual in the street and wonder "what do I think about this?" At least, it is the feeling I had.

I don't want to talk about a cultural difference between our countries as street harassment exists everywhere around the world. I've been street harassed in NYC a few times. Two men gave me the "Hey cutie", others the kissing noise, one put his hand into his pant and smiled when I walked by him, a truck driver honked at me and my girls friends, and, the most disgusting, a man masturbated in front of me in Coney Island.

From my experience, street harassment in France is more intrusive and happens more often. I mean men often come closer, engage a conversation with you. And they stay, they don't just pass by.

Unfortunately, I have very little information on street harassment in France, we actually don't even use the terms "street harassment"! The newspapers articles that I found treated it as a game or as a form of flirting. As for the forums/websites, they're often full of racist comments. That's one of the reasons I decided to start a Hollaback France. Here are the links of two articles (here and here) written by sociologists (in French) about violence in public spaces and women's fears.

"Ignore it:" The world's worst street harassment advice

I live in Richmond,Indiana. My name is Shannon Harding and people in cars love to shout,honk and even pretend to try to hit me with cars a couple of times.

I already have an anxiety disorder and this treatment is just causing me to feel lots of anxiety and anger.

Just yesterday, I was walking to the corner convenience store. A guy leans out a white truck and yells "I want to kiss you on your ****"(I didn't hear the last word)

I flipped him off.

The vehicles mostly drive so fast I can't get license numbers or anything else. I do not dress in a way that could be rationalized as 'the reason to yell' I often wear glasses and no make-up. I don't know what to do- I keep being told to 'Ignore it'

Yet the whole situation is just causing me so much stress and anger.

Submitted by Shannon

Hollaback Pittsburgh is here!

We proud to welcome HollabackPGH to the scene! HollabackPGH is run by two smart, energetic, and dynamic organizers. In their introductory post they wrote:

"We hope that one day, everyone will be free from street harassment, whether it stems from your gender, race, sexual orientation, or anything else. We dream of a world where people don’t have to worry that others will harass them based on their appearance or identity when they’re just trying to get to work or to a party, and where everyone feels safe to walk alone and take public transportation without hearing phrases like “Hey baby, nice ass,” or experiencing the horror of being followed home or groped. We want to be a part of a movement that says that this is NOT OK, and we hope that HollabackPGH! can serve as a rallying point to fight back!"

Let your friends in Pittsburgh know, it's time to stop walking on and start holla'ing back!

Is street harassment worse in France? Part II.

I was very interested in the post submitted by Sabriya regarding street harassment in France. A year and a half ago I lived in Paris for 4 months, and it was the first time I had ever experienced street harassment. The stopping an staring, the groping, the crude comments--I was shocked by the extent to which this harassment culture characterized the Parisian men. I am not a woman of color like Sabriya (quite the opposite actually). I am very very fair with very blonde hair, and I stuck out from the crowd all the time. People would ask me where I was from all the time without me opening my mouth. After spending time in other European cities as well as Moscow (and having experience less harassment in these cities), I would say that street harassment in Paris (and the rest of France) affects all women, and it is a constant and sometimes frightening nuisance.

Some links to interesting articles regarding this topic:
Senior aide to French President Nicolas Sarkozy writes book about how to pick up women.
Le sport national français: (in english)

Submitted by Lauren

Why I Hollaback: Ellie's story

Is street harassment worse in France?

I'm a New Yorker living in France and I was wondering if you had any information/statistics/articles on street harassment in France. The reason I'm inquiring is because, yes, obviously as a woman (of color) I've experienced this type of thing everywhere, but I've seriously never experienced it to the degree that I do in France and I'm wondering what is up. Just today, during my 1.5 hour trip grocery shopping, I was followed by a guy who kept telling me I was elegant, a guy stopped dead in his tracks to watch me walk by, a guy yelled from across the street that I was "ravishing", a guy purposely (and obviously) went out of his way to brush up against me while with his WIFE in the pasta aisle, and the finale: a man waiting at a stop light in his car psssssssssst-ed and called me over.. as if!! I'm tired of people telling me I should feel complimented or that it's because I'm attractive or because of what I'm wearing. I hadn't showered, had no make up on, had my hair up and was wearing a T-shirt, cardigan, jeans, flats. It's seriously at the point where I HATE leaving my house and it doesn't help that a month ago a guy in a secluded area of a park approached me and lifted up my skirt. I've started warning friends that I can't stay out past dark bc I already know I WILL BE harassed by someone on my way home. I want to think that there's no difference in male privilege/entitlement between the two countries, but my experience is telling me otherwise. I have never felt so intimidated by this type of harassment.

Submitted by Sabriya

EDITOR'S NOTE: We don't speak french, but if you know of any resources please send them to us and we'll pass them along to Sabriya.

HOLLAsuccess with the USPS!

Here is the response I got from the USPS regarding the harassment that took place. The woman took this very important matter seriously and handled it effectively like it should be. Below is their response.

September 14, 2010

Dear xxxxx,

This letter is in response to your Officer Inspector General inquiry dated September 7, 2010 regarding sexual harassment by a postal employee.

The issue you raise about employee behavior is one that concerns every postal manager. Postmaster General John Potter has continually stressed the seriousness of sexual harassment against or by any employee.

Every customers should immediately report such incident of unacceptable behavior immediately to a supervisor, station manager, or a postal official that is on the premises who can promptly address the issue, such as you have done. The manager has taken the appropriate action to ensure that this employee’s behavior is corrected.

If you experience such an incident in the future, please do not hesitate to contact the Office of Inspector General to ensure that immediate action is taken.

Please accept our apologies for having to endure such unacceptable behavior.

Sincerely,

Mrs. xxxxxx

Consumer Affairs Investigator

Los Angeles District

Submitted by Raven

EDITOR'S NOTE: When you experience harassment by someone working for a company that you can hold accountable - by all means do so! We've had a lot of success with that on the site - and this is another great example of it.

A world where good morning means good morning

You win a Hollaback iPhone cover; we all win a new website!

The deadline for the Justmeans Paperless Challenge is Wednesday the 15th, and Hollaback! is so close to winning! But we need your help. To help us reach our goal, we are giving away FIVE Hollaback iPhone 3GS covers.

To enter:

1. Vote for Hollaback!, and comment on why street harassment matters or why Hollaback! rocks.

2. Link to the competition on your facebook or twitter page, using this link (http://www.justmeans.com/contestidea?ideaid=ODU4) and our handle. We are @ihollaback on twitter, or Hollaback! on facebook.

If we win, we'll use the funds to overhaul our website (and say goodbye and good riddens to pepto-bismol pink). We'll announce the winners of the competition on September 16th.

Thank you for all your support. We couldn't do it without you!

HOLLAhappy hour with Envision Williamsburg and Feministing!

On October 12th, we are collaborating with Envision Williamsburg and Feministing to bring you the best happy hour ever! Envision Williamsburg recently completed a community research project that showed street harassment as the form of sexual violence that caused the most concern for Williamsburg residents. To tackle this, Envision Williamsburg is looking to do a number of community-based interventions, but their awesome efforts have been stifled by a cut in funding to their parent organization, the New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault. Your $5 suggested donation will go towards directly supporting Hollaback! and Envision Williamsburg's efforts to build a street harassment free city.

If you are able to volunteer for this event, we need your help. We're holding a silent auction at the event, and we'll be giving free Hollaback! iPhone covers to anyone who brings an item (or items) valued at over $50. Can you contribute? Contact us at holla (at) ihollaback.org.

Stop Street Harassment. Starting now.

I was actually harassed moments after leaving tonight's book release on "Stop Street Harassment". It was the strangest thing it was almost as if the whole thing was planned as an ironic joke or something. But I guess I was so angry after the talk that before this guy even finished his sentence I flipped out on him! I saw him leering a me as he was walking towards me and he started to say "Damn baby, you look...." I just lost it. The thing is that I have always had a mixed bag of reactions when dealing with this sort of thing, some of the time I would say something but most of the time I would say nothing and just let it happen to me. It was invigorating to put that guy in his place, especially since I could see that he honestly didn't expect it! He was with two other guys who said nothing during the whole exchange which may have proven to have humiliated him in front of his friends. I hope this story inspires all women or rather all victims of street harassment to stand up for themselves whenever it is safe for them to do so and to never miss that opportunity. Tonight I was glad that I didn't.

Submitted by Esmeralda

Editor's Note: Thank you to Esmeralda and everyone else who came to the "Stop Street Harassment" book launch last night! It was great to see so many people there, and a big congratulations to Holly on this important contribution to the movement!

To all the "thin skins," you're just as strong as you ever were.

If you've complained to others about street harassment, you've probably been told to "toughen up" or "get a thicker skin." Like as if somehow, the fact that street harassment hurts is your fault. It's a decision that you make, and if you were just a little stronger, and a little less of a "girl," the problem would be solved.

When street harassment hurts, it's not because we're not strong enough. In fact, I think it's our strength that makes it hurt more. Street harassment shatters our perspectives on who we are: smart, dynamic, bold; and instead focuses on who we aren't: bitches, whores, and pairs of tits. So -- too often -- we just try to ignore it. And it works, sometimes. But most of the time it doesn't, and the hurt just sits inside us, "like molton lava boiling right underneath the surface of my skin."

In this incredible piece called "Thinner Skin" the writer talks eloquently about how you can't just make the hurt of street harassment go away. How it lives inside us. She tells the story of her own sexual assault and writes: " I’ve been threatened. I’ve been hurt. My friends have been threatened and hurt. I regard any man invading my space and disrespecting me as a direct threat to my well being. Every single time I get verbally accosted, every single time a man sits too close on purpose. Every single time I catch a man, out of the corner of my eyes, sizing me up as bait. I feel that same rage. I am there again." For survivors of sexual assault, street harassment can feel like ripping a scab off - three, four, five times a day. Any doctor will tell you that's no way to heal.

A thick skin would be helpful if we wanted to ignore the world's problems, internalize our pain, and just stay at home. But for the world we're trying to create, the skin we've got will do just fine. We need to be OK with the fact that it hurts because we're strong, not in spite of it. Because if we keep this myth up that street harassment hurts because we're weak, it will continue to get passed down generation to generation. Just like it did to us.

We have an unprecedented opportunity to transform street harassment from something that is lonely and isolating, to something that is shareable. The internet is our new campfire, and if we're going to solve this we have to start by talking about it, by responding to it, by holla'ing back. The world won't listen if we keep pretending that our silence means it doesn't hurt.

Street Harassment Bingo: The only game where everyone loses!

If you're not getting an ample supply of street harassment during your commute, while biking, while walking, while shopping, eating, praying, loving, or just generally breathing, then print out this new game from Scary Godmother and enjoy round-the-clock misogyny. Wait, what's that? You already do? Well maybe you'll just have to send this link to anyone who's ever asked why you can't just take a compliment, then, and hope they'll get the hint.

London Mayoral Candidate Oona King writes Street Harassment into her Policy!

In London, Vicki Simister from the LASH campaign has been meeting with policy makers for Oona King (pictured here). King is running for Mayor in the 2012 election - and has recently promised to write street harassment into her policy!



To our knowledge, this is the first time that street harassment has become a major campaign issue. This tremendous leadership is incredible for London, but it is also a model for how street harassment can be addressed in other cities. Her policy even proclaims that street harassment is a "gateway to more serious forms of violence," something that we've been shouting off the rooftops for years now.

Reading policy has never made us swoon more:

"Commission Police reports across the capital about the extent of street harassment, and include it within anti-social behaviour programmes"

The policy also says:

"Taking street harassment seriously

Street harassment is a regular occurrence for women in London, but is barely mentioned in government policy in the past. It is completely unacceptable that women should be expected to put up with casual intimidation, from unwanted sexual comments to being followed or even groped, simply as a result of going out in public. It is also likely that this behaviour acts as a gateway to more serious forms of violence, and so we simply cannot afford to let it go unchallenged. The Mayor should promote a culture in which street harassment is recognised as unacceptable, and women do not have to suffer it in silence. Working with police, boroughs and Transport for London, effective action should include:

• Ensuring that local authorities recognise sexual harassment as a from of violence
against women, and incorporate it into their training and policies

• Identifying London’s “harassment hotspots” and putting more police and community
support officers where they are needed

• Coordinating a poster campaign to challenge this form of behaviour and encourage
women to report it

• Establishing best practice in police responses, including consistent monitoring and
enforcement where there is evidence of persistent harassment

• Working with local councils and community groups to ensure consensus on the unacceptability of street harassment"

Kudos to Vicki from the LASH campaign for making this happen!

Reactions and Racial Tension

Despite the fact that I don't live anywhere near New York, I'd like to submit my experience;

I'm a young caucasian girl and pretty oblivious at times. It was dark and I was taking the city bus home from a peer-education group meeting. I nearly always sit in the back of the bus because the drivers like to talk to pretty young girls if they're sitting close enough. My city is pretty racially segregated and I happen to live in the 'black' part of town that's up at bat for gentrification. The racial tension in the neighborhood is hideous and, at times, I'm ashamed of the color of my skin. This bus was predominately occupied by african-americans. I was feeling eyes crawling on my stupid whit skin and I was trying not to look as uncomfortable or out of place as I felt. I was listening to my ipod and texting my friend and trying to feel ok when I noticed these two older guys looking at my chest. One of them had dreadlocks with a receding hairline and the other had a cigarette tucked behind his ear. About thirty seconds after I noticed them, they both pulled their sunglasses over their eyes. They were talking to each other but I couldn't hear what they were saying so I casually turned the volume of my music all the way down. Then Mr. Dreads pulled out his phone and they started talking about the camera function. Mr. Cigarette was saying something to the effect of 'Oh that's nice! Look at that resolution!' The camera lens was pointed at my chest. I didn't want to say anything and I didn't want to move. I know that if the guys had been my same race, I'd have felt confident enough to yell at them but because of the pre-existing tension, I was unsure of how to deal with them. I didn't (and don't) want to be painted as racist but I felt it then. I was a minority in the situation but those men would have claimed me to be the aggressor. After a bit of thinking I worked up the courage to zip up my sweatshirt and turn my body slightly away from them.

I haven't seen them since and hopefully won't again. I've never been so uncomfortable and unsure of myself. I couldn't even tell my mom about it for fear she would revoke the little freedom she gives me.

Submitted by Casper

NOTE: As part of our anti-racism policy, we do not identify the race of the harassers in the post, unless the relevance to the story is "clearly and constructively" explained. We felt this was a good example of that.

THIS WEEK IN STREET HARASSMENT...

After a short hiatus, ‘this week in street harassment’ is back with a whole bunch of updates.

First of all, we have two internship opportunities for anyone who is interested in getting more involved in the movement to end street harassment:

Hollaback!NYC is looking for a Policy, Research and Development Intern to join our team of volunteers. Check out the details here and send cover letters to holla@ihollaback.org.

RightRides for Women’s Safety is currently looking for a Media and Outreach Intern. RightRides for Women's Safety builds safer communities for women and LGBTQ individuals through community organizing, policy advocacy, direct service programs, and anti-violence education with the goal of fostering greater safety awareness and individual empowerment in New York City. The full job description is available here.

Check out this fantastic article on street harassment in London. This piece in The Guardian discusses how widespread street harassment is and the impact it has on women, as well as providing information about the anti-street harassment movement. Organizations like Hollaback! and the LASH campaign are leading the charge as women and LGBTQ folks speak out and the world starts to pay attention.

Also from the Guardian, some women, tired of being harassed while biking around the city, have started a Hollaback! style mapping project! Awesome. Also, why are there so many men out there who think that “hey- you should ride me” is a good line to use on cyclists???

Our own Emily May is interviewed at No Country for Young Women and reminds us that Hollaback! is all about creating a response. The situation can escalate if you yell and walking away gives you that horrible I-can’t-believe-I-have-to-internalize-this-crap-everyday feeling, but Hollaback gives you a way to respond and a community to support you!

This street harassment based webcomic could be my life on a bad day. Thank to the always entertaining and irreverent ladies at Jezebel for posting it - as they point out, having your experience dismissed and belittled can be as frustrating and painful as the original harassment.

Indonesia is the latest country to introduce women-only spaces on public transportation. While this obviously doesn’t do anything to address the larger issues that have made groping on trains such a problem (except perhaps for acknowledging that harassment is a serious and wide-spread issue that affects numerous women), it is a welcome relief in the mean time.

Finally, I know that this creep who has been walking around squirting semen on women is old news at this point, but on behalf of everyone here at Hollaback!, let me say EW.

ON-THE-JOB: How to tackle drive-by harassment

I have a trick for you. Get a camcorder (I got a handheld mino camcorder) and when someone who is ON THE JOB, especially if it's "drive by harassment" and they're driving a company vehicle, take down the name (if possible) and license plate (definitely a must!) and report them! I have done it so many times (Well, not that many, lol) that I've gotten rid of some bad apples. Hell, the threat alone will scare them. AlSO, ALWAYS have a recording device. I do, and it scares them faster than a gun (especially if they're job is on the line or they're driving) I don't know if it will work in NY, but I know it works in Cali like a charm and better than any gun or pepper spray! Below is my street harassment report by an employee and how I'm handling it.


Dear Sir or Madam:


I want to report sexual harassment and outrageous behavior by your employee, G***, while on the job. On September 1, 2010, between the hours of 6:48 pm and 7pm, I was driving down Whilshire, away from Santa Monica and headed towards Beverly Hills when I noticed that your employee, took my picture, while he was driving. I inquired G*** as to whether he did it or not. He proudly said, "Yes, I did take your picture," with glee. When I started recording him, that is when he took off. I was able to get a pic of him and of his license plate, a Virginia license plate. I feel strongly that what he did was not only morally and ethically wrong and reflects badly of your company, but reflects an absolute disrespect for women and a perverted, predatory attitude towards us. Who knows how many women he has done this to as well as what he is doing with those pictures. Based on how G*** proudly proclaimed that he did it, it's obvious that he has done this predatory behavior in the past and has gotten away with it, which is why he felt so comfortable admitting to this. Women are not objects and I want to see Gene strongly reprimanded so that he won't do this behavior again or else the next time he does this, instead of the next victim reporting it, they'll decide to sue. In attachments are two stills from the video I took. My name is Raven Williams and my phone number is (witheld). Thank you for taking the time out to read my complaint and please take this matter fastidiously.


Submitted by Raven Williams

Your 'pathetic willy,' my badass Hollaback.

This morning I was waiting at the bus stop, on my way to work, when a skeezy looking dude sat near me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that SOMETHING was going on. When I looked, he had everything out and was, shall we say, choking the chicken. I was the only person around. For a moment I was just shocked and didn’t know what to do, but then I remembered reading about street harassment and how important it is to react. So I did. I yelled and caused a scene. Sadly, no one else witnessed my brilliant display of swearing and gesticulating, but anyway, he left. I only wish I had said something clever about his pathetic willy.

I have had people yell out of car windows, make comments while walking next to me (‘do you like wearing g-strings?’ - I held eye contact and didn’t say a word until he freaked out and crossed the road) and all the rest of it happen to me, but I’ve never seen someone actually whip it out and give it a tug. Truly, what the hell?

Submitted by Sarah
Sydney, Australia

Street harassment teaches us to be silent. I refuse to listen.

I thought I'd submit this because it happened a few days ago and I'm still pissed off about it. I wish I knew what I could have done to make it better. I don't know if you'll be able to use this or not, but here goes.

My three roommates and I are coming back from a wonderful late dinner. We're all girls in our early twenties. I keep writing defensive sentences about our appearance ("we weren't dressed as clubgoers, we're all pretty average schlumpy nerds actually") and I really hate that I feel the need to do that, but anyway. As one of us is getting out her keys to get into the building, some scrawny young dude in a white t-shirt walks up to us, alone. "Hey. Hey. Hi. Hi. Hello, girls. Hi."

There goes the residual happiness from our awesome dinner out! We all do the classic 'oh fuck' maneuver of putting our heads down, turning away, ignoring every word and hoping the unwanted stranger goes away. A sick feeling of tension spreads through the group because we are awkward and afraid. I get so ANGRY, though. I am FURIOUS. If we'd had even one guy with us, I bet this scrawny fuck wouldn't be talking shit because he'd be scared, but a group of four girls is nothing, right? (Even though we could so take him. I bet we could so take him.) But to him we're nothing, and the fact that there is zero conceivable reason that four young women would want to communicate with some random strange guy at midnight on the Upper East Side just hasn't penetrated this fellow's thick cranium. What the hell doesn't he get? Why does he think this is okay? Does he get off on knowing he frightens and alarms us? (Yeah, probably.)

And this always happens. You always shut up because you don't want to say anything just in case you're talking to some crazy dangerous guy who'll flip out. You don't want to cause a scene, you don't want to embarrass anybody, you don't want your attempt at defending yourself to backfire. You want to close your eyes and for the issue to go away and then later you think, "I wish I would have said something. I could have said something."

Well FUCK THAT. I'm so SICK of shutting up all the time, and I want him to know that his actions are bloody unwelcome, so I DO say something. "It is midnight, and we are trying to get into our apartment. Nobody wants to talk to you. Go away," I snap at him furiously. My friends are all still quiet as the one roommate fumbles her keys in her nervousness. No one backs me up.

"Aw, now how you gonna talk to me like that? What if I was crazy and had a gun or a knife? What if I was one of them crazy guys that would just go all crazy on you?"

So many responses spring to mind ("Yeah, you wanna be crazy around the corner from a packed bar? You wanna act crazy in the middle of the street? You wanna watch me dial three crazy numbers on my crazy cell phone, idiot? Yeah, if you had that shit, wouldn't you have used it by now?"), but the tension is so thick and sour in my throat. I don't want to give credence to this fool's statement by engaging him in conversation. He isn't worth any of my time. He's obviously not there for any reasonable reason. No debate will register with this one, no argument will work. I don't want to act sweet or nice. I want to be that one mean-faced Bronx bitch you don't fuck with 'cause she's obviously crazy (read: can and will defend herself). But the roommate finally gets the keys to work, and we pile inside, shutting the door behind his insipid questions and implicit threats.

None of us bring this up ever again. It was our last night at the apartment, by the way, and our last dinner as a group, because the lease expired and we were going our separate ways. And it was one of the girl's birthdays, to boot. She turned 20. I still wish I could have said or done something that shut his cravenly, smug face up and make him rethink EVER harassing ANY female EVER again. FUCK him.

Submitted by Nathalie

Minding my own business

I was walking to the office, minding my own business, and two guys from the other side of the street look at me. One of them yells, "Hey there lady!"

They were out of sight by the time I pulled out my camera.

Submitted by K.
Atlanta, GA

Have some respect!

This happened to me when I went high school on the lower east side. I must have been about 13 or 14 and had a habit of wearing very short skirts to school with some striped or sparkly stockings and a t-shirt. At school, it didn't seem like a big deal because many students wore crazy outfits and I always felt confident and happy in my ensembles. One day after school I was walking along 14th street around 6th avenue in an extremely short denim skirt. It's not a skirt I would ever wear now, but at the time my pre-pubescent stick like body made the skirt more fashionable than sexy. Or so I thought. This tall man came right up to me as I walked past him and whispered very softly in my ear, "I like your skirt." It was so quiet and abrupt and awful. It made me feel disgusting and sad. How had he gotten close enough to whisper in my ear? I hadn't given the skirt a second thought and all of a sudden it felt dirty. That experience scarred me for a long time. I don't remember exactly, but I doubt I wore that skirt again. Whispering dirty comments to a 13 year old on the street, good job street harasser!

Another point I wanted to mention is that although I only get harassed occasionally, seeing the women around get harassed perpetually makes me so angry. I often can't contain myself and end up flipping them the bird or saying something like, "Have some respect!". I always feel bad about flipping the bird, but the, "Have some respect!" line seems to make me feel better.

Submitted by Eve

Ride far, far, away from me, creep.

I have been harassed lots of times but the time that sticks out the most happened a couple of months ago.

I was sitting at the bus stop waiting for my bus when I noticed a skinny man in his 30's walking towards me. The entire time he was walking towards me he was staring at my legs. At this point I already felt suspicious of him, but chose to ignore him when he sat down next to me. For the next ten minutes, while waiting for the bus, he would alternatively stare at my face and then my legs. A couple times he even got up and walked around me, as if inspecting me from all angles. I was freaked out, but still felt a little unsure. When my bus came, I kept sitting and waited for the other passengers to get on first. I wanted to see if he was going to get on. When he didn't move I was relieved and assumed it wasn't his bus. However when I got up to get on the bus he immediately darted from his seat and followed me on the bus.

I went to the back of the bus (stupid me, should have stayed near the driver). He sat in the same row, but on the other side of the aisle. I put in my earphones and started listening to music. I kept feeling weird about him but chose to ignore him. About 20 minutes into the ride I suddenly hear the sound of a camera taking a picture. I glance over at him and lo and behold he has his phone pointed straight at me and has just taken a picture. Now, there is no way he took a picture of anything else other than me. There was nobody else in that section of the bus. There was nothing near me or in my vicinity which could possibly have been something interesting to take a picture of. And in order to take a picture of me he had to shift his body sideways, which he had done. If he had by mistake just clicked the picture taking thing when doing something else on his phone he wouldn't have been turned towards me. I was fuming angry. FUMING. And grossed out and pissed and angry to no extent. And what I can't forgive myself for is what I did next: nothing. I literally just sat there in my seat pissed off and creeped out but didn't want to cause a scene. And there was that tiny nagging voice in my head that said maybe I was wrong, maybe I was just imagining things.

What happened next wasn't my imagination. When I got up to get off the bus, he also got up. I strategically placed myself behind him so that he would have to step off the bus first. That way, he would have to "choose" which direction to start walking in. He chose right, which would have been the direction I would have had to walk to get home, but no way was I going to walk behind him. So I turned left. I went into a little shop a little ways off from where I could still see him. He was back at the bus stop. And looking at the bus schedule. So clearly, he had only gotten off because I was getting off. If he had gotten off because he lived there he wouldn't have stayed at the bus stop. I waited until the next bus, going back to town, came. He got on. Then I went home, annoyed and frustrated. I don't even want to imagine what he did with that picture he took of me.

Submitted by Sonja

Street or no street, harassment hurts.

I was 40 years old living in Encinitas, CA and I had a one year old daughter who was born with GERD. We had to go to the doctor frequently for check-ups and follow-ups and constant ear/sinus infections for her. Her pediatrician was a founding member of an 8 doctor pediatric practice. He complimented me on how I looked every time he saw me but I put it down to being friendly. Then one visit he had me holding my daughter in my lap while he looked into her ears. He straddled my leg to get in close to her and I started to feel uncomfortable. He then started slowly stroking his crotch across my thigh. He spent a long!! time!! looking in one ear!! He then looked in the other ear without straddling my other leg. I was so shocked and disgusted and paralyzed.

My sister's children had the same pediatrician and so I asked her if she had ever noticed anything weird about him. She then revealed to me that one time during an exam of her daughter he had "accidentally" caressed her breast while reaching for her daughter. She said "I felt weird about it at the time, but I didn't really know whether it had happened or not".

This gave me the courage to report it to the other founding member of the practice, a woman, who dismissed my concerns completely. Needless to say I switched doctors. The truth is I know what I know and what I know is that my genitals are never in contact with another person's body without my knowledge/awareness.

I know it's not a street harassment but I needed to Hollaback about it. The creepiness of it still bothers me and I wish I could have done more to protect the next woman.

Submitted by Valerie

This Pirate Fights Back!

This happened a few years ago before I knew of Holla Back. I live in California and a friend and I were taking a trip to a convention. Costumes were encouraged so I dressed up in a pirate costume.

I had a long sleeved shirt, a close to knee length skirt, high boots, and a hat. Not the best pirate costume but it was last minute.

To get back to her car to get home we had to take the bus. After getting on the bus two girls give us these weird looks and asked why I'm dressed up.

I'm about to explain why when I see a flash go off. I turn to see a middle aged man turn off his camera and pocket it.

My friend laughed and said "They only photograph the beautiful ones!"

I, on the other hand, am angry. I shouted at him "What the hell are you doing?!"

Both my friend and the girls were horrified at my behavior and chastised me for yelling at a stranger. My friend told me that I shouldn't be upset because he "only photographs the beautiful ones."

The stranger made no effort to answer me and acted as if I hadn't said anything. He continued to stare at me until our bus stop. On the way out I flipped him the bird which thinking back probably wasn't the best idea in the long run but I was furious. I had been harassed before by boys and it really does take away a sense of safety.

I still do wear skirts but haven't worn that pirate costume since the incident.

Submitted by Erin

"Want some dick?"

I was walking to my office when I passed a man sitting on the side of a pedestrian bridge. He seemed to be talking to himself. Then as soon as I passed, he said, "Want some dick?" I ignored him and kept walking, then he got louder: "Come on!" The further I walked, the less I heard, but he didn't stop.

I filed a police report.

Submitted by K.
Atlanta, GA

3 beeps, you're a turd.

The other night I was walking into town and got beeped at 3 times within the space of a few seconds, one of them shouting out 'YOU'RE GETTING FUCKED UP THE ASS TONIGHT!'

I actually burst into tears of anger.

Submitted by Nicky

Be A Part of History: Join Us to Celebrate the Movement's Groundbreaking New Book

When author Holly Kearl wrote her Master's thesis on street harassment she had no idea it would develop into a book, let alone a career. Join us on Friday, September 10 in New York City as we celebrate the release of Stop Street Harassment: Making Public Places Safe and Welcoming for Women, the first book ever to comprehensively address the pandemic street harassment plague that demoralizes women daily around the globe. It has been a long time coming.

Author Holly Kearl will be available to sign copies and activists from HollaBackNYC, RightRides for Women's Safety, and Girls for Gender Equity will be there to help keep the celebration rolling. The event is free and open to the public.

Please join us to celebrate one of the movement's first groundbreaking new developments and let us enjoy the good company of the men and women who have helped make this possible.
______________________________

Who: This event is free and open to the public!

What: Book signing and release party

Where: Bluestockings, 172 Allen St. (between Stanton and Rivington) New York, New York | Click here for directions.

When: Friday, September 10, 2010; 7:00pm

From "looking good" to "ugly bitch" to "I'm going to fuck that bitch in the face": Street Harassment Escalates

I've been reading Hollaback and I've been holla-ing back daily at harassers for over a year now, but this is the first time I've written to tell my own experience.

Every morning on my way to work, I cut through the J. Hood Wright park on 173rd and Haven Ave to walk up to the GW Bridge to catch the bus. This morning, I was walking to work minding my own business through a mostly empty park, when two jerks sitting on a bench started yelling at me, "Hey baby, lookin good this morning" (or something to that effect). Without stopping, I shouted, "Don't call me baby, asshole," and continued walking through the park. The guys then started screaming things back at me such as, "You ugly bitch, fuck you! You need to go get fucked you stupid fucking bitch!" I never turned around, but gave it right back to them as I kept walking, telling them to F off.

I was coming home from work at 5PM, and I saw a large group of guys sitting on the same bench. Since I had never turned around this morning to look at the jerks, I couldn't tell if they were the same guys. I was really, really hoping that they hadn't actually sat on the bench all day, waiting for me to come back. But when I walked by, I heard one say, "I'm gonna fuck that bitch in the face," but again I was just hoping they weren't referring to me. Then after I left the park and was walking down 173rd street, I hear, "Hey bitch!" behind me. I turned around and this guy had followed me out of the park and was yelling, "Fuck you, bitch! If you ever disrespect me and my friend again, I'm gonna fuck you up!" I walked right up to him and took the photo below with my camera (sorry such bad quality - I have a really old phone so I had to take a picture of my phone with my boyfriend's iPhone to get it on my computer). He then proceeded to say "Oh yeah? Why don't you take a picture of this, bitch?" at which point he pulled his pants down, bent over, and mooned me.

At this point, I was beyond furious. I was so disgusted, I actually thought I might vomit. I had luckily seen a police van across the street, so I walked as fast as I could to get them. There were 3 cops (2 women and 1 man), who told me to get in the van, and drove me back to the park. We walked past the bench and around the area a little, but of course, the asshole was nowhere to be found. The cops were so amazingly understanding - they even drove me around the neighborhood for about 15 minutes looking for him. They told me if I saw him again, I could call 911 and he would be arrested. They drove me back to my apartment a few blocks away, and even walked me inside my building. I'm so thankful that they took me seriously and made sure I got home safely.

This experience today has left me very shaken up. Even though I know I can get him arrested if I see him, what if I don't have that chance? What if he attacks me first? Street harassment is absolutely about exerting power over people. When I denied his advances this morning, this guy felt the need to wait for me all day long so that he could make sure I knew that he still had control over me. I can only hope that if his friends tell him that I came back to the park with the police, he will be scared enough not to mess with me again, instead of pissed off enough to mess with me even more.

Thank you so much, Hollaback, for providing this forum for us to tell our stories.

Submitted by Marianne

I needed a canvas, I got caressed.

A friend and I went to the Pratt art store (Clinton Hill) to buy canvas and there was a well dressed man standing right in the middle of the store. I needed help and he looked like he worked there.

me: Sir do you work here?
creep: No, but I still want to talk to you
me: No, thanks.

As I walk away he grabs my arm and starts caressing it!! I pulled away.

me: DON'T TOUCH ME!!
creep: Oh so it's like that??!!
me: I dont like being touched by strangers!!
creep: Go back to where you came from!! Go back to f*cking Eastern Europe you b*tch, get the f*ck out of here.

(I am from Moscow but I have been here since I was 9 and have had my citizenship for 10 years now.) He kept saying nasty things and I was terrified. So I went to get the store security guard. When we walked over to the racist creep the security guard asked him if there was a problem... creep: "there is no problem, I was just trying to shop and she was talking me up and touching me!!!!"

me:no, you just sexually and racially harassed me.
creep:you don't know what harassment is.. go back to f*cking Eastrern Europe! ect.."

A manager came over and I told her what happened, I was very upset and scared and I couldn't help it when I started to cry. She told me and my friend to wait behind the isles on the other side of the store while she took care of it. My friend who was with me the whole time was very scared too and didn't say much the whole time.

The creep by now was yelling at everyone, saying that "can only Eastern European b*tches shop here???!!" and other nasty things. The manager told him she's going to call the police and he was yelling "yeah call them" Then when she walked away to call the cops he ran out.

The manager was very nice and sympathetic and took my ID to file a report and then let us out the back door. This happened almost a week ago, the first couple of days I didn't think about it because I think I was in shock but now I can't get it out of my head. The store filed a report but I doubt anything will be done about it. I am terrified now because I live 5 minutes away from the store and if I run into him again there will be no security guards to protect me. I decided to go to the police today and file a report. The store has cameras and I'm sure they got the creep on tape.

Hopefully I can get the surveillance video of the creep and post it as well.

Submitted by Tais

Dirty Santa! (At least there are a few heroes left in this world... HOLLAheroes!)

I was on the #1 train yesterday going home from a long day of work. It was already past 8pm and the trains were acting up (many delays on 2/3 and 1. Passengers had to switch at least 3 times!). In any event I was finally settled on the #1 minding my own business when all of a sudden a flash goes off. I looked up and across from me this creepy guy has taken a picture of me with his blackberry. I had noticed earlier that he was looking at his blackberry but I thought he was reading it. I asked him, "what was he taking a picture of?" He responded nervously nothing and then when I repeated the question, he stated that the flash went off accidentally (yeah, it accidentally busted you!). I kept repeating, "what were you taking a picture of?" I told him I did not believe him and asked him to show me the picture. He started fiddling with the camera the blackberry and then claimed he couldn't find it. I told him that was convenient. This conversation was taking place loud enough for other riders to hear and they were paying attention. A gentleman sitting next to the creep got up took the creep's picture with his phone and then the gentleman sat next to me. This gentleman told me that he had noticed the creep taking pictures of me earlier. He gave me his card and told me to email him and he would send me the creep's photo. What a hero!

The creep then became more nervous and showed me the picture on his blackberry. It was picture of my leg and feet (WEIRDO!!!). I had on a short dress and flip flops. I knew he couldn't see anything else because my legs were together. (I know I shouldn't have to say that part but every time I tell the story I feel compelled to explain that I wasn't showing any underwear or something to cause this). I made the creep delete the picture. I asked him were there any other pictures. He then showed me a blurred picture of my leg. My hero had gotten off at this point. The creep started talking to me and said, "You see, I deleted the picture." He repeated that a few times. I told him to stop talking to me. He walked away and stood a few feet. I was nervous about getting off my stop but I didn't want to stay on the train anymore. So I got off. I will be taking another train for the next few weeks. I suspected the police could not do anything but I tried anyway. I spoke to the first police officer I saw. He informed me that no crime was committed. That it was not illegal to take a picture of someone on the subway and unfortunately, the creep can do whatever he wants with whatever other pictures he has on his blackberry. My hero emailed me the photo last night and tipped me about this website. It is good to know that for every creep out there, there are also great men too.

Lesson for the day: Ladies, pay attention. When you think they are reading their blackberries, they may be taking a photo of you.

Submitted by Nancy

Sometimes a woman's got to do what a woman's got to do...

And report this shit..
Spent less than 10 minutes tracking down the distribution company that works for a pet food company whose drivers were unloading goods to the pet store today on 6th Ave. Took a snapshot in case I needed the truck number but it wasn't even necessary because my quick description of the gentleman whose obscenities interrupted my peaceful and much deserved lunch break yielded a quick and easy identification of the donkey dong. His supervisor said "Yeah I know who that was...he's not right in the head" and thanked me sincerely for calling in to report him. I said I hoped he could understand that workers such as this one are not only harmful to everyone who comes into contact with them throughout the course of their days but also to the pet food company, the pet store, and and most of all, the distributors--the ones who hired the turd. He said "Absolutely, our name is on the truck."

Not only will Mr. Poop Brains get a scolding, and the supervisor schooled a little bit in the importance of hiring humans versus animals, but the pet food company now knows that the distributor hires turds, and one more phone call will ensure that the pet store knows that the distributor hires turds. That's a looooot of people who just got HOLLAed at.

Submitted by Violet

"Too good to talk to me, bitch?"

So here I am in Boston, 17 years old, not at all expecting harassment as I've lived in a small Midwestern town with a population of 8,000 my entire life. I stayed out late in the city with friends and then had to take the train out to the end of the line, and then a bus back to the North Shore. SO I get off the train, walk up to the (completely deserted) bus stop by the highway in the dark, and there's this young, very greasy-haired guy standing up there, and as I walk past him he starts going all, "Hi sweetie, hi baby, come over and sit by me. What, you won't talk to me? Too good to talk to me, bitch?" and so on and so forth. I tried to stand as far away from him as I could, but I couldn't leave the stop because it was the last bus and I certainly didn't want to miss it and be stuck out on the highway all night. He kept muttering and cursing at me until finally some other passengers showed up, and he kind of melted back into the parking lot behind the stop.

I got home, really shaken up. There was no one here to talk to, so I got on the internet and just typed "street harassment" into the search engine, and found Hollaback. I didn't take a picture, I was so stunned by being harassed for the first time ever that I didn't even tell him to fuck off; besides, I didn't want to make him angry. But I felt so dirty the whole way home, and so shaken, and it feels a little better to send this off into a cyber-void having gotten it off my chest to people who will care.

Submitted by Katherine

Note: Hollaback accepts posts from around the world in places where other Hollabacks do not exist. BUT! We are so happy to announce that it looks like HollabackBOSTON will be restarting in the next month or so. Stay tuned!

BACK UP! Trailer to new anti-harassment documentary

BACK UP! concrete diaries trailer (2 min) from Monique Hazeur on Vimeo.

Our amazing volunteer Avital tracked down Monique Hazeur, who is in the process of developing a new documentary on street harassment! We couldn't be more pleased. From their site: "This is the official trailer for the feature length documentary that explores how women deal with this daily violence. It will especially look at how women are fighting back and defining their own personal and public spaces.The documentary adds to a bustling dialogue on gender and body politics, as it delves into women’s rights to exist freely in society."

What could be more badass than that? Stay tuned. We'll keep you posted as we figure out ways to collaborate with Monique, our newest HOLLAhero.

Want to join the Hollaback team?

We are seeking a Policy, Research, and Development Intern to join our dynamic team of volunteers. Responsibilities include:

1. Take the lead in coordinating Hollaback’s work with New Yorkers for Safe Transit, which will include attending monthly meetings, developing testimony, and meeting with legislators.
2. Research and identify potential individual donors, board members, or high profile engaged individuals; and
3. Do a review of movement building strategies (especially within the violence against women movement) and make recommendations for how to enhance our overall strategy.

This intern will report directly to Emily May, executive director. This position takes place off-site (we do not have an office yet) and regular check-ins are required. The candidate must have good communication skills, a passion for ending street harassment, and live in the NYC area. We currently are accepting applications for fall 2010 and the preferred arrangement is to extend through Spring 2011. The estimated time commitment is 10-20 hours, and the internship is unpaid. If you are interested, please send a resume and cover letter to holla (at) ihollaback.org.

Fan Mail that Fuels Us

As many of you know, we are an all-volunteer team that work long hours above and beyond our regular jobs to make Hollaback happen. We are inspired and invigorated by each and every post that comes in, and we respond personally to all the fan mail. The letter below was too honest, too beautiful, and too important to keep to ourselves. I hope you enjoy it, and remember: keep holla'ing back!

Dear Hollaback,

Thank you so much for what you do, I really hope that your website continues to grow and create more awareness for as long as possible.

I'm only 17 years old, and I moved to the city 2 months ago. Every day I've been getting unwanted and unsolicited attention from strange men. I didn't want to tell my parents because I knew they'd either think I was exaggerating or want me to come home as we come from a very small, sweet town where nothing like this has happened in twenty years.

Thankfully, I don't have any horror stories, but I feel like I'm always dealing with 'Hey Beautiful' or 'That's a real nice dress you got there' or 'seductive' stares or 'accidental' subway touching. I'm a ballet dancer and whenever I walk back home beet red and sweaty I always get comments and uncomfortably sexual gestures directed at me.Until I came across your website I didn't know that this constituted as sexual harassment. It's amazing how extensively they cover plagiarism in high school, but not sexual harassment. I knew it made me very uncomfortable, especially men in groups, but I felt like I was making a big deal out of nothing because the words were 'nice' (I've never been sworn at) even though the intent wasn't.

I'm an extremely quiet, shy, insecure person and I feel like these jerks can sense that and prey on girls like me. But when I came across your website, I felt a sense of empowerment and comfort in the knowledge that others recognized that this was really happening and that it was wrong. I feel like a lot of people write off street harassment like it's no big deal, so I was worried that if I told someone, they would just say I was being oversensitive and silly.

God (or whichever deity you do/don't believe in) bless you, what you're doing takes incredible courage. I really can't thank you enough for helping for me to feel justified in my discomfort, to know that I wasn't being oversensitive. Sorry if this is kind of rambling, I just wanted to let you know how much I truly appreciated the work you do.

Thank you,
E.

Smith Street Stalker

This guy walked after me and kept saying how sexy I was. Corner of Bergen/Smith in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn.

Submitted by Elsa

Harassment on Wheels

Shouted at every woman he passed on the street. [This is my] first hollaback despite being verbally intruded upon all day, every day.

Submitted by A.

This took place at the W. 23rd St. and 9th Ave bus stop.

An Open Letter to Men

Dear Men:

It may come as quite a surprise to you to hear this. It may even sting a little. It shouldn't.

There are some places where I fully expect to be hit on (for example, at the bar). I put up with it. Sometimes, I may even enjoy it. I consider the free drinks you buy me payment for the annoyance I deal with. I will (almost) always accept a free drink. Your efforts, while usually not reciprocated, have not gone unnoticed.

However, putting up with getting hit on at a bar is quite different from being harassed in other places. You should be aware that just because I'm female and have boobs doesn't mean that you are allowed to harass me and annoy the fuck out of me wherever I am, and no matter what I am doing. There are some things that should remain sacred.

I know it may be difficult to resist making comments to me while I'm running. I'm sure there's just something about a young woman drenched from head to toe in sweat, hair dripping, breathing heavily and with a face the color of a ripe tomato that you find irresistible. I can only imagine how hard it is for you to hold back when you see me running past in an over-sized sweat stained t-shirt. I sympathize. I really do.

Please, men. I put up with your shit at work. I put up with it at school. I put up with it when I'm driving, and when I'm eating, and when I buy my coffee. I have learned to be prepared when I go to the bar to be approached at least once, usually more. At this point, I pretty much expect it. All women do. But for the LOVE OF GOD, please leave me the fuck alone when I'm running.

Love,
Me

P.S. The next guy who harasses me when I'm running is getting kicked in the balls. Consider that your warning.

Reposted from Save Your Wetlands blog.

"Compliments" aren't part of your job description, buddy.

I walk through what I call "the gauntlet" every day to and from work. It's a stretch of Canal Street from the Canal Street N/Q stop West to the river. At night, it's clogged with vendors hocking all manner of counterfeit goods and tourists getting duped. In the morning, it's an eight block march of cat callers, each seemingly less original than the one before. I never wear headphones through this walk, since I'm constantly on alert for something that could constitute a threat. One morning, I was walking the gauntlet behind a very young woman apparently on her way to work, as she was dressed in a smart business suit. We reached the half way point, when a group of men who constantly give me trouble, started to yell out to her and move toward her on the sidewalk in a threatening manner. She put her head down and continued walking, but I stopped as I pulled up to them. I looked the ring leader in the eye, a older man, late 40's, early 50's around the same age as my father. And told him "have a little respect for her and for yourself. That's not how you treat women." He told me to "take a compliment" and that I was just jealous because I'm fat (which, for the record, I'm a size 8). I told him that despite his complete disrespect for women, I hoped his daughter and wife didn't have to live with the daily fear of being sexually harassed by strangers on their way to work, or the movies or a date. I also explained that "it being part of the job" of a construction worker wouldn't fly, considering my father is a construction worker and would fire and then beat the ass of any of his employees that behaved that way. His cohorts remained silent, but as I walked away, I could hear them all making fun of him by mocking me. I've never seen the men since and I always wondered if the woman in front of me called their employer.